Wednesday, March 26, 2014

My Absolutely Last Attempt I Swear

A roundabout manner of speaking is detrimental to a debater. It confuses opponents and vexes adjudicators; worse, it bores people. Coupled with speed, what is detrimental becomes condemnable. “Speak less, communicate more” is the golden rule for Asian parliamentarians going international. Finesse in logic can only come with proper slowness in speech; effective delivery of such finesse requires the same. The one to best express this quality, naturally, just had to be Hemingway: “Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?”

From a heartfelt respect for Hemingway, I train my words to fly directly to the point, to that one aperture in the enemy lines. The same principles apply to writing. “Be ruthless,” dictates my inner Hemingway, “Make paragraphs sentences, sentences words.” Admittedly, verbal pragmatism has its merits. Shorter sentences often carry greater power; condensation of complex ideas facilitates understanding. But prioritizing precision results in depressingly straightforward prose. In this litany of dry tone and general assertiveness, I begin to doubt the benefits of my modus operandi. Writing, I reason, is a reflection of the soul. Regardless of subject matter, one writes what is inside—after all, left to one’s own devices with a pen and a slip of paper, one has no choice. So what testimony does my writing offer regarding my character? Do I like what my words babble about me in my absence?

In all honesty, my pursuit of concise but cogent writing expresses a particular personal desire—namely, that I live a life as powerfully convincing as my words aim to be. A good piece of writing, persuasive or otherwise, should be devoid of baseless normative judgment and unnecessary emotional outpour. Rarely do I use the word “I” in any sentence. The impersonal nature of my writing allows me to escape from the petty, if amusing, subjectivity of conversations. Stripping down any idea to its core is not only a fascinating intellectual venture—it is also a valuable life experience. Wisdom comes with the ability to differentiate right from wrong, the important from the immaterial, and the coherent from the fallacious. My ruthlessness is therefore its own reward.

At the same time, however, I know that not everything is an argument, though extensive debate will create such misconceptions. In reading newspaper columns or dealing with particularly unreasonable people, debate skills are useful rather than not; but the opportunistic use of the same tools in, say, arguing one’s way out of washing the dishes is not the most admirable thing in the world. Similarly, ideas exist not merely for neat packaging and efficient shipping. The mind must be allowed to wander, if one is to have fun in this life.

Whether this verbal pragmatism is a fair representation of my character is therefore an entirely different question altogether. My mind is filled with wanderlust, a desire to probe through any and every fascinating idea. In that sense, I am a conversation addict—I am not the cold rationalist I nurture through my writing. I will be enamored by any inspired thought, any analytic statement attempting to make better sense of this world. Each mind is tinted with a different hue; a conversation endows me with the privilege of looking at the world in other shades. Through the combination of these colors, I make my thoughts more precise, specific, and useful. More importantly, though, I enjoy myself.

I, too, am occasionally stifled by this singularly dominant force in my writing. I am not the desiccated debater my writing makes me out to be. When this misrepresentation becomes excessive, I use my words as paint and brushes, instead of parameters and logical links. I talk about how the clouds were parting, wisps of cotton in merry dispersion, chased away by a swift blue wind; I tell of a glorious summer sun, shining through the verdant leaves. Six months later, magnificent pines would be adorning themselves in shawls of rich white, powdery flowers budding on the bare branches of winter, and the azure roof tiles laden with snow.

Just so I can prove it wrong.



Wednesday, February 5, 2014

30 Things about Me

1.       So-Hyeon, like Sophia, means wisdom. Ironic, isn’t it?
2.       I have a younger brother. I don’t let on very much that I care about him except on his birthdays, but I do really care. I may not be the angelic sister that I want to be, but we are best friends. How sweet.
3.       I was born in June 6th, 1996. To those of you to whom this date sounds “familiar,” shame on you. It’s Memorial Day (I have vaguely thought that my birthdate would make a patriot out of me. Too bad. When I was young, I used to read biographies of Schweitzer and Gandhi—“If they were to write a biography about me,” thought the young and innocent me, “they would point to the unique significance of my birthdate. ‘She was set apart from birth!’” Of course, it’s all nonsense. I was quite the self-important child.)
4.       I played the violin from the age of 2, the piano from the age of 3. My training in music has barred me from the advantages of a portable music player—that is to say, I only started using earphones after coming to KMLA. I hear well. Very well.
5.       Christine Lagarde, the first female to head the IMF, is an awesome woman. I want to be just like her when I grow up.
6.       Red is my favorite color. It’s definitely not a Chinese thing. It’s more like cashmere sweaters, warmth, tomato soup, and carpets.
7.       When I speak or write in English, conversationally, I usually mean the opposite of what I say. I live for sarcasm.
8.       I love Russian literature, the way Naoko in Haruki Murakami’s Norwegian Wood does. Russians have a way of understanding the human psyche in a way that other authors of different nationality never will. Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy is my all-time favorite.
9.       Tchaikovsky and Rachmaninoff are my two favorite composers. Yes, they’re both Russian. Their music contains a vast magnificence that reminds the listener of the vastness of Russia. (It's my mother. She holds a bachelor's degree in Western History. Her thesis was on the royal family of Russia. She nearly went to Russia with a professor, but then she got married at her parents' will. Figures.)
10.   Elizabeth Bennet of Pride and Prejudice is my favorite book character. Anna Karenin is beautiful, but not relatable—Elizabeth definitely is: ``this is not fair. You wish to think all the world respectable, and are hurt if I speak ill of any body. I only want to think you perfect, and you set yourself against it. Do not be afraid of my running into any excess, of my encroaching on your privilege of universal good will. You need not. There are few people whom I really love, and still fewer of whom I think well. The more I see of the world, the more am I dissatisfied with it; and every day confirms my belief of the inconsistency of all human characters, and of the little dependence that can be placed on the appearance of either merit or sense.”
11.   I know this sounds nerdy, but the best place you can be is the bookstore. Book-shopping trumps all. Dresses don’t even come close.
12.   I prefer the sea to the mountains, but that’s only because I’m living in KMLA.
13.   Come again, I think the fact that I was born in Busan—and that my entire family, both the maternal and paternal side, hail from the beautiful port city—creates my longing for the infinite void that is the sea.
14.   Debate has taught me the skills of circumlocution which I utilize actively to avoid being wrong. I think that irritates some people. Sorry about that.
15.   I like to work with people. I don’t handle solitude very well. I find that my thoughts grow through interaction with others.
16.   Here’s a tidbit about my personality: I would prefer practical solutions over sympathy every time. Unfortunately, this sometimes means that I look like I lack sympathy when I’m listening to other people. I am aware of this shortcoming and try to make amends more often than not.
17.   I have an instinctive hatred of fish, living and dead (my worst nightmares involve thick, writhing fish in murky water). But I eat them anyway.
18.   My mother regularly swam when she was pregnant with me. Perhaps that accounts for the fact that I like swimming—I have random cravings for that chlorine-scented swimming pool of deep blue. That explains my membership in the swimming team, but it doesn’t explain why I continue to swim after my experience with near-suffocation in the Gangwon State Championships the year before last (The division I won the gold for this year was the same one).
19.   Speaking of suffocation, I once nearly suffocated while eating laver. Apparently, when I was quite young, I had eaten gimbap for lunch, excused myself from the table, opened the door to my parents’ room, lay down, and, well, suffocated. I must have been dizzy from lack of oxygen. It was only some time later that my parents thought my absence strange—they opened their door to find that I was lying on the bed, blue in the face. I don’t think I ever gave my parents such a horrific surprise, growing up, and I’m thankful for that. That was the only time I was ever gained consciousness in a hospital bed.
20.   I have an incurable habit of twirling my hair. My mother thinks it indicates undue tension or stress, but personally, I think it’s genetic. I have ample evidence to prove it (My father twirls his hair when I confront him with an especially difficult mathematical question. He admitted that when he was young, he would twist his hair constantly while taking the math exam—so much so, in fact, that he would end up with a tangled lump of hair at the end. I bet he had to cut it off. It’s okay, he’s always had a lot anyway.)
21.   My favorite memory has to do with stargazing at Yosemite Park. I am always a bit ashamed that I have no knowledge of the stars; hopefully, chances to learn astronomy will come by in the future.
22.   I sometimes think I possess one of the most distracted minds of the century. The amount of nonsense that passes through my mind at any given moment is disturbing. I will not honor myself with that incredible title, though. That may be perceived as arrogant by those who think themselves the most distracted. The privilege is not mine to bestow.
23.   I have always loved Renoir’s paintings. There is a certain comforting fluidity and an imperturbable peace in his pictures (This is probably because he was rich. Unlike many artists, he did not have to struggle to feed himself.)

24.   I used to be a little bit in love with Klaus Baudelaire in A Series of Unfortunate Events. I suppose I’m too old for that now. But I appreciate anyone who will teach me things, who is capable of interesting conversation.
25.   I love lilac—not just for its color but for its name. Lilac.
26.   I have always wanted to be a polyglot. To that end, I’ve touched upon a lot of languages. But none do I speak or write like I do Korean and English.
27.   I also love Muscat grapes. I even like Muscat tea. Ravishing in its freshness, the fruit is the temptation of a lifetime. On a completely unrelated note, I want to be married in a winery.
28.   I don’t hate kids. I just don’t like the idea of parenting. This disinclination may be more serious and personal in nature than you think. But I admit that I sometimes use this fact to pretend irritation with kids to poke fun when I’m with friends.
29.   I really want to visit the Alhambra someday, to see the arabesques. I will definitely go to Spain after graduation.
30.   I hope to conquer the world one day and send people I don’t like into exile in Mars. So be careful. I am no ordinary politician.